I'm Having an Affair

I’m having an affair…I know I know, I’m still technically in a relationship but this affair started a long time ago and it’s never ending.


This affair was brought to mind by this comment from my wonderful friend Kristin
“pack only what you can carry in your car. become a stranger. struggle to make it”

I’m having an affair with my stuff.
I’m scared of hell to sell all of my things that I have collected since I gained my independence by having my own place to live during college. I’m an Army Brat so I’ve never really had a true place to call home. Yes I lived in NC since I was in 8th grade but with my parents yelling at each other all the time from 8th grade until their divorce, it never really felt like home. So I started my love affair with my things and I’m sure it’s not healthy.

I’m not talking about having the latest and greatest gear. I’m talking about the dresser that I got from my friend Nick for a steal because he packed up & went to New Mexico. I’m talking about my bed that I got almost brand new from my dad because he liked his old one better. I’m also talking about my tiny black nightstand that was passed from PartyEastCarolina member through the years. I was going to actually part with it before I left college but I didn’t get the chance. I’m talking about the desk that my buddy Jon helped me pick up from some strange guy’s apartment and load into his car in the middle of the night.


I’m not a hoarder. I promise lol but it’s hard for me to see myself with nothing. Starting from scratch. Sleeping on a cheap futon because that’s all I would be able to afford if I just took off with just my clothes, my car & no job.


But then I remember that they are just THINGS. Things can be replaced and all the people that gave me these things are still a part of my life and they all helped shape me so that I can be a new person. And I thank them for this…..


But I still want to take my bed.

Introducing...My March Goals. They are pleased to meet you

I joined another network on Brazen Careerist called “Monthly Goal Meet-Up”

To participate in the meet-up:

1. Post a list of your career/life related goals for the current month, along with your checked off goals from the previous month if you'd like, on your own blog

2. Come back to this group and leave a link to your post in the comments (*If you don't have your own blog, feel free to share your list of goals in the comments section of the post to join in!)

3. Then, check out everyone else's lists as they leave comments - click their links, visit their blogs, say hello, meet, greet and support each other because that's what it's all about!

So that’s what I’m doing! I’m late getting started but I guess you could say my February goal was to figure my shit out for March :)

I realize I need to be clear about what I need to accomplish in order to be on the move by April. 


1. Figure out where I want to live. I finally got a call back about a sales position with a company that I’m interested in (I’ll know more tomorrow) and they have offices all over the USA so I have to be open to relocating anywhere. That’s pretty exciting to me because it opens up a ton of possibilities but there is always the chance that this falls through so I need to be prepared. After reading all the comments on my last post, I’m thinking Raleigh but I do need to explore a few more things before I decide totally.


2. BLOG MORE! I need to blog at least twice a week. I need to block out a chunk of time, sit down and write. I have a ton of ideas and blogging makes me focus.


3. Review the books I’m reading. Except for the trashy ones lol. I read romance novels to give me a little pick me up but I’m also currently reading “What Color is Your Parachute? 2010” and will be picking up anything anyone suggests in the comments.


4. Take better/more pictures. I spent big bucks on an awesome camera and I’m not taking photos with it. I’m doing a photo a day but most of the photos I’m taking suck. I know part of this is because I really want to get outside and I can’t because it’s cold as Fuck and I’m a Southern Girl at heart…I DON’T do cold very well. I’m also not feeling very inspired lately with this whole strange relationship I’m going through.


5. Be Nicer….to Everyone I realized I was a bitch to someone online and I didn’t mean to be. I was being honest and I realize that I could use some nicer words to still make the same point but I didn’t stop & think before I hit post. We all need a bit of kindness. We need to give love to those around us to get in back into our hearts also and God knows I need some love lol.

So these are my goals for the month. I will be marking off the ones I accomplish as I go except for the be nicer goal because that one is about constant growth.

What is at least 1 goal you are setting for yourself for March?

Part 2 Moving

In order to have a “proper” quarter life crisis, I know I have to do something big. My big idea is to move to a new place and start over. I’ve narrowed it down to 2 dream cities with more dream locations to be added later:

Austin, TX
Raleigh, NC

Well I told my parents last week about this big move and they were ok with it. Both of them would really like me to come back to North Carolina where I’m from but I’m leaning more towards Austin. The other day, my mom calls because she’s freaked out about the guy flying his plan into the IRS building in Austin. She then proceeds to give me a lecture on how dangerous it is in Austin.

Whoa whoa whoa! Simma down!

  While the situation in Austin isn’t minor, there are a ton of bad people everywhere in the world. Regardless of where I go (unless it's Raleigh where most of my friends from college now are) I’m going to be a single girl in a new city with like no friends. Sometimes when I think about it, it feels like I’m going to have a target stuck on my back. Then I remember the power of social media.

I’m currently a member of LinkedIn, Brazen Careerist and Twitter but before these were around, I was a member of PartyEastCarolina.com (which is currently down) This was my original social media place because I didn’t even have MySpace then (I didn’t see the point of myspace) but this message board was THE place to be for East Carolina students. I pretty much made all my “in real life” good friends from this site including one of my best friends. I’m pretty much hoping that I can do this again with different networking sites. I plan on going to tweetups when I actually get to Austin and to try some new activities like actually going to a class at a gym to meet some new peeps.

I’m friendly so that must mean I can make friends right? Well we can only hope…


What do you think are good ways to make new friends when relocating to a new area?

I’m having a quarterlife crisis… Part 1

According to The Conference Board, U.S. Job Satisfaction is at its LOWEST LEVEL in two decades. See the press release  Here

For those under 25, satisfaction dropped 20% from 1987. I’m pretty sure I’ve been dissatisfied with my job since my honeymoon period wore off about a year ago. Why have a stuck around? Money and I can honestly say I’m scared to move on. Today I realized I’m really sick of my damn job.

I work in customer service. People call in to place classified ads with me and my job is to upsell them items that make their ads look better.

I have a freaking Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing. What am I doing adding bolds and color backgrounds to ads? I’m not saying that I should be running a marketing department but I am saying I could be doing much better. I’ve asked for more responsibility and was turned down.

I’m pretty much sick & tired of busting my ass and not being happy. This job was not the right one for me but my "panties were in a bunch” about actually getting a full time job right after moving to a new area.

It does teach me a lesson in job satisfaction. What does job satisfaction mean for me?

• Job isn’t monotonous - Doing the same thing day in & out and not learning anything is boring.

• Having authority over how my work should be done – I should be able to be online as long as I can get my work done.

• Obtainable job growth. – I should be able to picture myself in my boss’s position one day.

What does that mean for me? I’m hunting for a job with a company that WANTS me to be satisfied.

My next steps:

• Company Research

• More networking with people who are happy with their jobs

• Reading more blogs about job satisfaction

What does job satisfaction mean to you? And am I crazy for wanting these things?

Penelope Trunk

I just wanted to share with you guys a blog that I read. It's Penelope Trunk's Blazen Careerist. It can be found here: http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/

Backstory:

My friend Roger told me to start reading this blog when I was in a HUGE job slump. I was (and still am) in love with my boyfriend so when he was in Charlotte after grad school, it only made sense for me to be there too. We had been living together (actually I just moved my stuff in after the summer and gave him no choice) for a few months prior but then our apartment was robbed and with him finshing grad school, his mom, asked him to come home to the Queen's City. Well I wasn't invited so I was living with MY mom in Norfolk, VA but was trying to find a job in Charlotte. This was around Feburary 2008ish so there wasn't an official economic crisis yet and the job market was still steady. I was fresh out of college with a degree so I figured EVERYONE would want to hire me right?

RIGHT???

So I'm sitting in my mom's one bedroom apartment filling out yet another online application at another large corporation that I felt would benefit from my "wonderful" marketing skills (keep in mind I'm fresh out of college so I now know EVERYTHING there is to know about marketing)and Roger calls wanting a life update.

I love Roger, not in the same way I love my boyfriend but Roger is just a great person and almost always twists any horrible situation into something better. This is why he's Executive Director of Eastern NC Regional Science Center aka (GO-Science) and making BANK. He gives me life tips and he told me about Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist. He tells me that this lady is REAL and gives practical advice to my generation about how to get a job. So I subscribed. I tend do try to follow Roger's advice cause he's way worldly than I am so he must be doing something right.

I start getting the Blazen Careerist in my gmail once a week. I was gobbling it up like cake but I realized...her advice sucked. I felt like it wasn't for me. Of course I'm in my 20's and I feel like it should be targeted to ME!!!! Well one day I was reading the blog and I realized the reason I felt so unfuilled with the blog was that I wanted to be JUST like Penelope! I had always wanted to start my own business but in my mind, businesses were not about work. It would just happen. I didn't like having to hear about how hard it was to run a business. I didn't like hearing about how it was hard to balance home life and your start up. I wanted it to be easy.

That's when I woke up about my job search. I was thinking that people should be seeking me out to give me a job. That it should be easy. I needed to get REAL about my job search, so I started looking for cheap apartments online in Charlotte. I had been using a friend's address on my resume who actually lived there but it was time for me to be IN my job search not driving back and forth from Norfolk, VA to Charlotte, NC every few weeks for an interview.

I have this huge realization and get really excited about this next stage in life...and then the boyfriend gets a job in Binghamton, NY with a great company. So what did I do? I didn't wait for an invite, I started looking online for apartments and jobs :)

Next post...How unlike Charlotte, NC, Binghamton, NY is and how people with degrees make minium wage.

I forgot about this thing...

So we moved to Endicott.
Our new house is WAY nicer.
Living here still sucks.
I'm bored on weekends.
I'm off this Friday so I want to go somewhere out of town.
The boyfriend doesn't want to go anywhere.
I miss the people I called friends.
I miss going out and doing stuff.
I think I'm going to join a new gym.
I think I'm actually going to go to said gym.
I'm using Twitter A LOT.
Follow me: www.twitter.com/happywalks
The boyfriend and I have watched the entire 3 seasons of Heroes.
Now we are bored again.
I've been fishing lately.
I want to out on a boat and go fishing.
I still have my job.
They just finished layoffs at work.
I'm currently reading "The Gatecrasher" by Madeleine Wickham.
I should be reading stuff for that book reviewer thing.
The books for reviewing were very boring.
My car died on the way to work sometime last month.
I had to pay alot to get my car fixed.
I got a new cell phone.
It's touch screen.
I'm now kinda broke.
I tried going on a diet.
It worked for about 3 hours :(
I like to eat.

You are now pretty caught up on my life. Isn't that sad?

Books I've Reviewed

THINK AND MAKE IT HAPPEN- Dr. Augusto Cury

Think and Make It Happen was not the book for me. I was not very impressed with it at all. It’s a self-help book that outlines a program for “conquering anxiety, overcoming negative thoughts and discovering your true potential.” Cury starts off by giving different ways to read the book: Read it as you would any other book (which I did), read one chapter a week, or work through the 12 principles in small groups. I chose to read it as I would any other book because I thought it would be an interesting read…boy was I wrong. Cury is very redundant and long winded throughout the entire book. I feel that he was trying to break it down for everyone to understand but man…after a few pages it was like, PLEASE get to the point!

I picked up this book strictly as a self help book, not as a religious book. It seemed like everything tied to Jesus as a man but then Cury would link it back to himself and how he overcame a situation. It got old after awhile plus Cury gave a bunch of medical terms that the average person would not understand. Overall, I would not recommend this book to others unless they have at least a Masters in Psych and are willing to be bored.